WARNING! THE FOLLOWING OUTTAKES CONTAIN STRONG DRINKING REFERENCES, SWEAR WORDS AND OCCASIONAL BELCHING! PLEASE DO NOT LISTEN TO THESE IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED!
Only twelve tracks were selected for the album out of over a hundred tracks (or fragments of tracks) recorded. There were some truly unforgettable outtakes which we really wanted to keep! The 23 outtakes are sorted into four categories:
- Five Outtakes That Nearly Made the Album
- Four Spectacular Trainwrecks
- Eight Bits of Silly Carry-On
- Seven Things Not For Our Mothers to Hear! Enjoy!
Outtakes Part 1: 5 Outtakes That Nearly Made the Album!
#1. Heading Down That Long Lonesome Road [Mark Killianski]
A tune written by Hamish’s old flatmate in Boston, a great character and highly skilled musician. Recorded at the very end of the post-recording after-party, so this was the very last thing that recorded before Spad switched the gear off at 4am – Adam had disappeared off to bed!
#2. Neil Gow’s Lament for the Death of His Second Wife [Neil Gow]
The train wreck from a previous failed set of tunes becomes the intro for this seminal slow air by one of Scotland’s great fiddle legends. Allegedly Mr.Gow didn’t write the tune for his second wife, but for his fiddle. The tune is in fact written for his fishing rod – nah, just kidding.
#3. Miss Campbell of Sheer Raj [Trad]
A somewhat Eastern take on the classic jig discovered by ex-Capercaillie whistler Marc Duff while trawling through old tune books back in the ’80s: ‘Miss Campbell of Sheerness’. Wee had to fade out because the jig after it didn’t go so well!
#4. Marnie Swanson of the Grey Coast (Take 2) [Andy Thorburn]
This version is tidier than the first take (the one on the album), but there just isn’t the same degree of risk-taking.
#5. Friday the 13th (AKA “Brick”) [Adam Sutherland]
John Somerville, Mike Bryan and Adam Sutherland’s infamous trio ‘Fire in the Bog’ did a great version of this over ten years ago. Sadly the band is no longer performing, however a colourful legacy of incredibly hilarious touring stories remain! If a musician every starts a story in the pub with “I heard this great story recently about that folk band Fire in a Bog“…then you’re in for a real treat!
Outtakes Part 2: Four Spectacular Trainwrecks
#6. Aaron’s Key / Offensive Doctor Flute Pervert [Take 1] [Trad / Hamish Napier]
A traditional Irish tune that Hamish had never heard before until Adam started playing it here, followed by a spectacular train wreck that becomes the first take of ‘Offensive Doctor Flute Pervert’ – Hamish’s outrageous explosion of Jeckle-and-Hyde circus tune-smithery. All completely undiscussed and unplanned.
#7. The Kohler Hornpipe (Disaster)
This one was so funny we couldn’t resist putting it on the album! More info in the liner notes.
#8. Neil Gow’s Trainwreck [Neil Gow]
“Aw…and that was going so badly as well!” were the disapointed words of engineer, Spad, when the duo fall of the rails of this lovely slow air. The disgustingly distasteful penultimate chord choice had us in stitches and we just couldn’t keep it together after that!
#9. Marnie Swanson (Take WD40)
Damn sustain pedal was sticking! Some Professional Sound Engineers will tell you that absolutely anything in the world can be repaired with either WD40, cable ties and/or gaffer tape, so it’s possible to fix any of the following: windscreen-wipers, boilers, engines, musical instruments, marriages and more. Hamish never found a use for the cable ties and gaffer tape during this take, but I’m sure he had a few ideas in mind while Adam was taking the piss that much!
Outtakes Part 3: Eight Bits of Silly Carry-On!
#10. The Craic Before the First Complete Take
Psyching ourselves up for the first full take!
#11. Northern Accents
Cameraman Somhairle arrives mid-session in the afternoon of Day 1.
#12. Maggie West Waltz [Mairearad Green]
Perfectly timed to coincide with the simultaneous and much-anticipated release of ace Highland accordionist/composer Mairearad Green‘s popular ‘Maggie Wests Waltz’ EP this winter, Hamish and Adam have recorded a completely vile and unspeakably distasteful version to help boost her sales. It’s okay, Mairearad is a good pal and we hope she doesn’t mind. Adam and I always play the waltz when we are hired to play in her ‘Buie Ceilidh Band‘. It’s a really beautiful tune, but it takes on the cheesiest character when you give it the ‘gameshow’ treatment! Sorry Mairearad!
#13. Next!
This was the craic: play a set once only, then forget about it and just move-on. Even if (or especially if) it didn’t go as well as you wanted!
#14. Knock You Down a Peg or Two
It is customary in Scotland to not let your mates get too big for their boots. Your duty as a good caring friend is to tear them to shreds whenever you think they might have ‘done guid’. Hamish was only just back a few months from studying in the USA on a scholarship at The Berklee College of Music. Adam brings him back to earth, the Scottish way!
#15. The ‘Musac’ of Spey [James Scott Skinner]
An utterly rancid take on another Napier family favourite The Music of Spey, by the Strathspey King himself. Hamish’s mother would be horrified, and I’m sure Skinner would be turning in his grave! The River Spey flows 100 yards away from Cherrygrove, the place right at the Old Spey Bridge where we recorded Nae Plans. How could we, really, how could we?! Have some respect!
#16. “Think that might be a take!”
Somhairle’s Producer Patter
#17. Changing it Up By the Second
Hamish just can’t keep up with what’s going on!
Outtakes Part 4: Seven Things Not For Our Mums to Hear!
WARNING! THE FOLLOWING OUTTAKES CONTAIN STRONG DRINKING REFERENCES, SWEAR WORDS AND OCCASIONAL BELCHING! PLEASE DO NOT LISTEN TO THESE IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED!
# 18. Hit it B***h!
Disgraceful behaviour.
#19. Fall-Down-in-the-Swamp
After we had completed our recording quota by the evening, we were having so much fun that we decided it might be interesting to leave the recording gear on even though we had started firing into the beers. Hamish hardly knows these tunes, that’s clear, but then it just derails altogether and a beer can comes in handy for some special effects!
#20. What a Wonderful Absinthe
Even later on at the after party…
#21. The Hyenas of Mellinish
The Braes of Mellinish is a famous pipe jig. However, it is still not as famous as Somhairle Macdonald’s laugh, which is loud enough to be heard from space, and is soon set to feature in a specially commissioned concerto with the City of Moscow Police Brass Big Band.
#22. The Goblins’ Christmas Party
It’s getting really late now, and we all just sound like the gang of partying goblins from David Bowie’s ‘Labyrinth’.
#23. Grease All Over the Piano
Hamish unwittingly got grease all over his hands when repairing the sustain pedal. The result was some of the nerdiest jokes imaginable. Check out Hamish trying to pitch his singing note at one point – it’s pretty much the most spectacularly weird thing you’ll ever hear! And, apologies to all fans of musicals!
#24. Nae Plans Closed
One of the very last things we ended up recording at the end of the final night. Hamish attempts one final dive into a great song by John Miller and John McCusker called ‘The Radio Sweethearts’. Nae luck on this one! Oh dear.